Type One: The Need to get it Right

The Enneagram and You

You are amazing!  You are unique!  There is no one exactly like you!  You are entirely, you!

You are given in the first few months of life, one of nine ways to survive in the world. Your personality type is critical for your survival. Your ego helps you to see yourself as separate and distinct from the people around you, even your parents.

Your ego gives you a framework to make sense of the world and keep you safe. The trouble begins when we come of age and don’t realize how stuck you are in your type. You don’t understand how your personality is limiting your choices and threatening your freedom in the world.

Each personality type is no better or worse than others. They are just different.  Your type shows you where you are already stuck.  Working with this fantastic tool helps you to escape the limitations of your personality, getting you stronger in all nine types.

In this series of articles, I am going to take you on a journey through the nine Enneagram types.  Remember, you have all nine types within you.

To learn more about how your Enneagram Type Impacts what you observe and see in yourself: Click Here Continue reading

Nine ways to heal after a miscarriage (And Find New Life)

Facing a miscarriage is devastating!  You have been preparing for the birth of this child ever since you knew you were pregnant.

You feel this child growing inside you.  It is part of you. You already have hopes that this child will have a good life, making you proud and happy.

The death of a fetus is no different than any other death.  You grieve every loss in life. 

You not only grieve the death of another human, but you also grieve when you lose any function of your body.

Going through a miscarriage can feel lonely.  You are looking for answers. It is tempting to blame yourself or your husband.

You are afraid to share this news with others for fear of what they might say making you feel even worse. They say things that discount what you have experienced such as “you can try again soon.” 

Many people do not know how to respond to couples after a miscarriage. Often because of their awkwardness, people say things that ignore the pain of the couple who just experienced the loss.

It is essential to take time to heal after a miscarriage.  Not only does your body need to recover, so does your heart, mind and spirit.    Continue reading

Seven Ways to Inner Peace After Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events you can experience in life.  Even if you have come to a decision together, it is still hard.

It is hard because there is grief. Your dream of a lifelong relationship together has ended. Your expectation that your partner would be there for you for the rest of your life has come to an end.

If you have children, you are now a single parent. How are they going to thrive in this new, unfamiliar environment? Where are they going to live? How will they get to see both parents if it is safe?

Unless you can find a way to share the home you have been living in, you will have increased expenses as you and your partner will each need a place to live.

You have been saving up for some new clothes, a new car or a trip that you now must put on hold because of all the extra expenses.  

Your friendships are going to change. Some of the couples you used to enjoy company with may disappear from your life. Friends that you once new together may choose to only stay friends with your ex-partner.

Your favourite pet may go to live with your ex-partner. You will have to divide up all the contents of your home. It won’t be easy.

Here are seven ways to inner peace after a divorce: Continue reading

Nine signs that you need professional help going through a major transition

A hundred years ago, change happened at a slower pace. Our minds, bodies and hearts had time to adjust to the changing seasons of life.

Today the world is changing at such a fast pace. You may be finding it hard to navigate change.

If you are having a hard time adjusting to the continual change in your life, you may benefit from professional help. Continue reading

4 Signs you are ready to move on after your divorce

No divorce is easy!  Even in the best circumstances, when you can both agree to the terms of the divorce it is still stressful.

Right after your divorce, you will need all the support you can receive.  Friends and family might be enough. But if you are having a hard time moving ahead you would benefit from psychological help.  There is no shame in getting help because this demonstrates your courage.

No matter how you feel, take your time to work through the pain of ending your relationship.  It is time to focus on your own needs.

Here are four signs that you are ready to move on after your divorce: Continue reading

Type Eight the Most Misunderstood Enneagram Type

Type eights, also known as the challengers, know what they need to be doing in the world.  It is always urgent. It needs to be done today and not tomorrow.

You can feel their presence. It feels like a strong wind is always blowing around them.

Type eights challenge us to do the work that needs to be done whether that is overcoming poverty, cleaning up the environment, or whatever they are concerned about. Continue reading

11 Signs that you are in a good Relationship

Relationships are complex. If you want a good relationship, you and your partner need to be committed to making it work.

Being committed means, you need to take responsibility for keeping your own emotional, physical and spiritual health. You need to be one hundred percent responsible for your happiness.

You need a partner who is willing to be responsible for his issues.  He needs to be ready to keep himself healthy and stay committed to building a healthy and robust relationship with you.

There is nothing magical about getting married.  Getting married will enhance healthy relationships and make destructive relationships even worse.

There is no such thing as getting married and happily living ever after without intention and effort.

When you both walk your talk; you are likely going to have a harmonies relationship.  It takes time, patience, self-awareness and playfulness. You can make it happen.  Continue reading

4 ways to stop the inner critic from taking over your life

ou have an inner critic. It is a part of you. It has good intentions. It wants to keep you safe.

It only knows what you have experienced before in your life. It feels threatened by anything new.

The good news is that you can learn to quiet your critical inner voice. Your ego needs some reassurance that you, as an adult can take care of yourself.

At first, it takes time to become aware of your inner critic. Often you are so used to this voice you think it is a normal part of yourself. You don’t realize how this voice has hurt you. You don’t realize how much you have missed in life because of your fears.

You need to be patient with yourself as you do the critical work to release yourself from your inner negativity. You need to practice a lot of self-love.

It will feel like you are moving two steps forward one step backward, don’t give up. With time and growing self-awareness, you will start to notice a difference.

As you release your inner critic, you will start to experience greater joy in your life because you are open to following your heart. Trying something new will become exciting instead of scary.

Unfortunately, your inner critic will show up during times of high stress. However, as you become more aware of yourself, you will be able to stop yourself from getting overwhelmed by its negativity in the future.

Here are 4 ways to stop the inner critic from taking over your life: Continue reading

How to Cope with Life Transitions Even When They’re Unexpected

Change is the one constant in life. The more you can go with the flow the more natural change will be. The more you try to stop change the more stressful it becomes.

Life is full of constant change. There are the changes we expect, such as moving from one level of education to another, our first date, marriage, first child, and retirement. Even these are not easy.

Whether or not the change is expected, the challenge is how to cope with life transitions. Continue reading

The Enneagram is Bogus & other misconceptions about the Enneagram

While the Enneagram has ancient origins, it is new for many people.

In the last couple of years, the Enneagram has moved into popular culture. You hear about it on all platforms of social media. There are more and more books written on the subject and workshops offered around the world.

With its increasing popularity there is a growing number of critics and doubters. In the context of increasing information coming out about the Enneagram, I want to counter the notion, that the Enneagram is Bogus.

Click Here to Learn More About the Enneagram

Here are eight misconceptions about the Enneagram. Continue reading