Type One: The Need to get it Right

The Enneagram and You

You are amazing!  You are unique!  There is no one exactly like you!  You are entirely, you!

You are given in the first few months of life, one of nine ways to survive in the world. Your personality type is critical for your survival. Your ego helps you to see yourself as separate and distinct from the people around you, even your parents.

Your ego gives you a framework to make sense of the world and keep you safe. The trouble begins when we come of age and don’t realize how stuck you are in your type. You don’t understand how your personality is limiting your choices and threatening your freedom in the world.

Each personality type is no better or worse than others. They are just different.  Your type shows you where you are already stuck.  Working with this fantastic tool helps you to escape the limitations of your personality, getting you stronger in all nine types.

In this series of articles, I am going to take you on a journey through the nine Enneagram types.  Remember, you have all nine types within you.

To learn more about how your Enneagram Type Impacts what you observe and see in yourself: Click Here Continue reading

Seven Ways to Inner Peace After Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events you can experience in life.  Even if you have come to a decision together, it is still hard.

It is hard because there is grief. Your dream of a lifelong relationship together has ended. Your expectation that your partner would be there for you for the rest of your life has come to an end.

If you have children, you are now a single parent. How are they going to thrive in this new, unfamiliar environment? Where are they going to live? How will they get to see both parents if it is safe?

Unless you can find a way to share the home you have been living in, you will have increased expenses as you and your partner will each need a place to live.

You have been saving up for some new clothes, a new car or a trip that you now must put on hold because of all the extra expenses.  

Your friendships are going to change. Some of the couples you used to enjoy company with may disappear from your life. Friends that you once new together may choose to only stay friends with your ex-partner.

Your favourite pet may go to live with your ex-partner. You will have to divide up all the contents of your home. It won’t be easy.

Here are seven ways to inner peace after a divorce: Continue reading

Nine signs that you need professional help going through a major transition

A hundred years ago, change happened at a slower pace. Our minds, bodies and hearts had time to adjust to the changing seasons of life.

Today the world is changing at such a fast pace. You may be finding it hard to navigate change.

If you are having a hard time adjusting to the continual change in your life, you may benefit from professional help. Continue reading

4 Signs you are ready to move on after your divorce

No divorce is easy!  Even in the best circumstances, when you can both agree to the terms of the divorce it is still stressful.

Right after your divorce, you will need all the support you can receive.  Friends and family might be enough. But if you are having a hard time moving ahead you would benefit from psychological help.  There is no shame in getting help because this demonstrates your courage.

No matter how you feel, take your time to work through the pain of ending your relationship.  It is time to focus on your own needs.

Here are four signs that you are ready to move on after your divorce: Continue reading

How to Cope with Life Transitions Even When They’re Unexpected

Change is the one constant in life. The more you can go with the flow the more natural change will be. The more you try to stop change the more stressful it becomes.

Life is full of constant change. There are the changes we expect, such as moving from one level of education to another, our first date, marriage, first child, and retirement. Even these are not easy.

Whether or not the change is expected, the challenge is how to cope with life transitions. Continue reading

The Enneagram is Bogus & other misconceptions about the Enneagram

While the Enneagram has ancient origins, it is new for many people.

In the last couple of years, the Enneagram has moved into popular culture. You hear about it on all platforms of social media. There are more and more books written on the subject and workshops offered around the world.

With its increasing popularity there is a growing number of critics and doubters. In the context of increasing information coming out about the Enneagram, I want to counter the notion, that the Enneagram is Bogus.

Click Here to Learn More About the Enneagram

Here are eight misconceptions about the Enneagram. Continue reading

Nine Reasons Why You Have A Harsh Inner Critic According to The Enneagram

You have an inner critic!  It will never go away. You have a choice to stay in the control of your ego or risk following your inner instincts. Your inner critic wants to be your friend. Your ego likes the … Continue reading

How to Manage the Most Common Challenges of Life Transitions

Right from birth, you are going to experience transitions in life. It starts at the beginning of life at birth.

Can you imagine the shock you must have felt being birthed into the cold world from the cozy, safe home of your mother?

After birth, you go from one transition to another. They include: Your first steps. The first time you rode a bicycle. The first time your parents left you with a babysitter.

Then there is the first day of school. Puberty, when your body starts to go through many physical changes. First serious relationship. Leaving home. Going to university. Marriage, becoming a parent, being fired, moving to a different community, empty nest, retirement and death are all part of life’s journey.

Your goal is to manage the challenges of life transitions as best as you can. Continue reading

How to Do Your Own Inner Critic Coaching

You have an inner critic. You will never get rid of it.  Instead of fighting it the best plan is to befriend it. Your inner critic wants to keep you safe in the limitations of your ego.  As a child, … Continue reading

The Positive Intent of Your Inner Critic (How you can make it your friend)

When you were young your ego kept you safe. It helped you to become your own person differentiating yourself from others.  It prevented you from making choices that could hurt you.

Your ego helped you to deal with the messiness of life. It was like a parent for you especially if your parents were not present or helpful.   

The positive intent of your inner critic is to keep you safe. It is that part of your ego which exists to keep you under its influence.  As I said above, the ego played an important role in helping you to survive your childhood. You would not have survived without it.

When you grow into adulthood the ego and the inner critic can get in your way if you are not aware of how it is impacting your life. Continue reading