Going through a divorce is tough, even when done compassionately.
You could not have survived your childhood without your ego. Your ego helped you to understand yourself as an individual. It enabled you to stay safe.
As you grow into adulthood, your ego, if left unchecked, will cause problems. Your ego likes to keep you doing the familiar. It loves the status-quo.
Your ego wants to keep you safe, but it is robbing you of new and exciting experiences. Anytime you try something different, it will do its best to stop you through the inner critic’s negative voice.
A great way to stop your ego from controlling your life is to learn the psychological-spiritual tool called the Enneagram.
Which Enneagram type is most common is not clear. Most of the information available to us today is based on the anecdotal experience of Enneagram practitioners. I am not aware of any scientific studies. It would be hard to do a scientific study because there are too many variables that make up the complexity of personality. Continue reading
You are going to face conflict. Conflict happens whenever there are two or more people in a room. Conflict occurs when people have different opinions. Conflict is neither good nor bad.
If you are honest, you will acknowledge that you and your partner don’t agree on everything. You see the world differently because of the influence of personality.
A healthy marriage requires both of you to know your selves. A great tool to help you do this is the Enneagram. In the Enneagram, there are nine different types, with each type having its strengths and weaknesses. Continue reading
Even the best of divorces is not easy. If you do your work, you will come out of this time stronger, healthier and more confident.
Ending your relationship may feel like a chaotic time. The only way to release these intense feelings, thoughts and sensations are to move through them by experiencing them.
You are likely to feel sadness, anger, despair, hopelessness and confusion. One moment you will be happy, the next you will be crying.
You are not going crazy. This roller coaster of emotions is your psyche’’s way to heal. You need to give yourself space to re-orient to the world without this person in your daily life.
Find safe spaces and people to allow yourself to feel the pain. Ignoring or avoiding the pain will only make it worse.
You are not just grieving the loss of your relationship but what it could have been.
Most people take at least a year to move through this process but may take longer. If you are feeling stuck, it would be wise for you to consider getting professional help.
Once you are through the initial stages of grief, here are five ways to thrive after a divorce: Continue reading
ou have an inner critic, and it is never going to go away.
You would not have survived your childhood without your inner critic. It was there to keep you safe.
Your inner critic is that negative voice within you that lets you know when you are moving into dangerous territory. The trouble is that your inner critic gets alarmed every time you try something new.
While this part of your ego kept you safe when you were young, it starts to hold you back when you become an adult.
The more you can become aware of when your inner critic is talking, the better able to you will be able to tame this part of your ego. Continue reading