Type One: The Need to get it Right

The Enneagram and You

You are amazing!  You are unique!  There is no one exactly like you!  You are entirely, you!

You are given in the first few months of life, one of nine ways to survive in the world. Your personality type is critical for your survival. Your ego helps you to see yourself as separate and distinct from the people around you, even your parents.

Your ego gives you a framework to make sense of the world and keep you safe. The trouble begins when we come of age and don’t realize how stuck you are in your type. You don’t understand how your personality is limiting your choices and threatening your freedom in the world.

Each personality type is no better or worse than others. They are just different.  Your type shows you where you are already stuck.  Working with this fantastic tool helps you to escape the limitations of your personality, getting you stronger in all nine types.

In this series of articles, I am going to take you on a journey through the nine Enneagram types.  Remember, you have all nine types within you.

To learn more about how your Enneagram Type Impacts what you observe and see in yourself: Click Here Continue reading

Seven Ways to Inner Peace After Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events you can experience in life.  Even if you have come to a decision together, it is still hard.

It is hard because there is grief. Your dream of a lifelong relationship together has ended. Your expectation that your partner would be there for you for the rest of your life has come to an end.

If you have children, you are now a single parent. How are they going to thrive in this new, unfamiliar environment? Where are they going to live? How will they get to see both parents if it is safe?

Unless you can find a way to share the home you have been living in, you will have increased expenses as you and your partner will each need a place to live.

You have been saving up for some new clothes, a new car or a trip that you now must put on hold because of all the extra expenses.  

Your friendships are going to change. Some of the couples you used to enjoy company with may disappear from your life. Friends that you once new together may choose to only stay friends with your ex-partner.

Your favourite pet may go to live with your ex-partner. You will have to divide up all the contents of your home. It won’t be easy.

Here are seven ways to inner peace after a divorce: Continue reading

4 Signs you are ready to move on after your divorce

No divorce is easy!  Even in the best circumstances, when you can both agree to the terms of the divorce it is still stressful.

Right after your divorce, you will need all the support you can receive.  Friends and family might be enough. But if you are having a hard time moving ahead you would benefit from psychological help.  There is no shame in getting help because this demonstrates your courage.

No matter how you feel, take your time to work through the pain of ending your relationship.  It is time to focus on your own needs.

Here are four signs that you are ready to move on after your divorce: Continue reading

11 Signs that you are in a good Relationship

Relationships are complex. If you want a good relationship, you and your partner need to be committed to making it work.

Being committed means, you need to take responsibility for keeping your own emotional, physical and spiritual health. You need to be one hundred percent responsible for your happiness.

You need a partner who is willing to be responsible for his issues.  He needs to be ready to keep himself healthy and stay committed to building a healthy and robust relationship with you.

There is nothing magical about getting married.  Getting married will enhance healthy relationships and make destructive relationships even worse.

There is no such thing as getting married and happily living ever after without intention and effort.

When you both walk your talk; you are likely going to have a harmonies relationship.  It takes time, patience, self-awareness and playfulness. You can make it happen.  Continue reading

4 Ways to connect with God without going to Church

You don’t have time to go to church, or you just haven’t found the right faith community?  The good news is that there are many ways to stay connected to God without going to church.

The reality is that God is all around you.  God is in the plants, trees, animals, people, insects, water, air and more.

God communicates with you when you quiet your mind, open your heart and feel the Spirit’s presence in your body.

It may seem at times that God has abandoned you, but, God has never left your side. Continue reading

4 ways to stop the inner critic from taking over your life

ou have an inner critic. It is a part of you. It has good intentions. It wants to keep you safe.

It only knows what you have experienced before in your life. It feels threatened by anything new.

The good news is that you can learn to quiet your critical inner voice. Your ego needs some reassurance that you, as an adult can take care of yourself.

At first, it takes time to become aware of your inner critic. Often you are so used to this voice you think it is a normal part of yourself. You don’t realize how this voice has hurt you. You don’t realize how much you have missed in life because of your fears.

You need to be patient with yourself as you do the critical work to release yourself from your inner negativity. You need to practice a lot of self-love.

It will feel like you are moving two steps forward one step backward, don’t give up. With time and growing self-awareness, you will start to notice a difference.

As you release your inner critic, you will start to experience greater joy in your life because you are open to following your heart. Trying something new will become exciting instead of scary.

Unfortunately, your inner critic will show up during times of high stress. However, as you become more aware of yourself, you will be able to stop yourself from getting overwhelmed by its negativity in the future.

Here are 4 ways to stop the inner critic from taking over your life: Continue reading

How to Cope with Life Transitions Even When They’re Unexpected

Change is the one constant in life. The more you can go with the flow the more natural change will be. The more you try to stop change the more stressful it becomes.

Life is full of constant change. There are the changes we expect, such as moving from one level of education to another, our first date, marriage, first child, and retirement. Even these are not easy.

Whether or not the change is expected, the challenge is how to cope with life transitions. Continue reading

The Enneagram is Bogus & other misconceptions about the Enneagram

While the Enneagram has ancient origins, it is new for many people.

In the last couple of years, the Enneagram has moved into popular culture. You hear about it on all platforms of social media. There are more and more books written on the subject and workshops offered around the world.

With its increasing popularity there is a growing number of critics and doubters. In the context of increasing information coming out about the Enneagram, I want to counter the notion, that the Enneagram is Bogus.

Click Here to Learn More About the Enneagram

Here are eight misconceptions about the Enneagram. Continue reading

4 Signs that you are dating a Narcissist

The beginning of your relationship is so exciting! Sometimes you are so smitten you lose yourself in the relationship. It is at this time you more likely going to get caught in a relationship with a narcissist.

One in twenty-five people in the USA have disorders associated with no conscience. Narcissistic Abuse is believed to affect over 158 million people in the USA. Click Here to Learn More

Dating a narcissist can tear your life apart unless you find the courage to leave. The trouble is that the longer you are in the relationship, your boyfriend will suck the self-confidence out of this.

If you find yourself in one, it is not because you are bad. Narcissist are often very good at manipulation. They will start to take control of you even when you are not aware of it.

Once you realize you are in a destructive relationship, don’t be afraid to get help. There is no shame in seeking help.

Before you date, learn some of the signs of narcissism. Here are three signs that you are in love with a narcissist. Continue reading

Nine Reasons Why You Have A Harsh Inner Critic According to The Enneagram

You have an inner critic!  It will never go away. You have a choice to stay in the control of your ego or risk following your inner instincts. Your inner critic wants to be your friend. Your ego likes the … Continue reading