Enneagram Type Nine: Finding the courage to be Yourself

The Enneagram and You

You are amazing, unique, and there is no one exactly like you! 

In the first few months of life, you are given one of nine ways to survive in the world. Your personality type is critical for your survival. Your ego helps you see yourself as separate and distinct from the people around you, even your parents.

Your ego gives you a framework to make sense of the world and keep you safe. The trouble begins when you come of age and don’t realize how much your fear of trying something new limits your freedom.

Each personality type is no better or worse than others. They are merely different.  Your type shows you where you are already stuck.  Working with this fantastic tool helps you break free of your personality’s limitations, allowing you to become stronger in all nine types.

In this series of articles, I will take you on a journey through the nine Enneagram types.  Remember, you have all nine types within you.


Want to learn more about the Enneagram? Click Here

Enneagram Type Nine: The Peacemaker

At Your Best:

Enneagram type nines have the gift of being able to understand different points of view.  Being able to understand other points of view gives you the ability to be a great mediator. 

You are great observers.  People around you might not think you are present, but you are observing everything around you.

At your best, you can express what you need and know you have worth. As a healthy nine, you show up in the best way you can,  every day.

You can set healthy boundaries with friends, family, and colleagues.  You can balance your own needs with the needs of others. 

As a healthy nine, you can recognize and deal with anger and use it as a resource for change. 

Portrait of scared young woman. Black and white.jpg

When you Lose Connection with your true self:

When you lose connection with your true self, you start to lose your inner confidence. As a type nine, you begin to believe that you have little or no worth. 

You will avoid conflict at any cost. You avoid conflict because you are fearful of losing connection with others.

You will appease to the point of never asking for what you need or desire. You will agree with whatever other people want until you can no longer hold back your anger.  You get angry because you are not getting your needs met.

You lose your unique identity merging with the people around you. You hope people will not notice you.  You do everything to hide, so you reduce the chance of conflict.

You have a hard time taking a personal stand because you understand all the different points of view. Also, you fear speaking out because you are afraid of getting someone angry.

You not only hide from others; you hide from yourself. To hide from yourself, you will pick up habits that help you avoid your feelings.  Maybe you will get addicted to junk food; perhaps you will watch too much television. You will do anything you can to avoid disturbing emotions and sensations.


David (this is not his real name)

David is an older man; he loves his life on the farm and enjoys his own company.  He is happy to live on his own. 

He hates conflict. When he feels anger coming on, he will quickly leave the room to avoid expressing his anger.  The trouble is that the longer he avoids his anger, the more likely it will come out explosively at a time you least expect.

David usually comes across as calm, and he is easygoing. He is a great observer and rarely raises his voice. He likes everyone to get along with each other.

He does not like change. He has a hard time accepting new ideas. He especially is challenged by modern theology in the church that takes the minister off the pedestal.

 For him, it took some getting used to having more involvement of women in the church.  He struggled to accept that God could love all sexual orientations.

Over time David was able to accept more and more change.  Thanks to his children, he grew more open to believing in a more loving, inclusive God.  He has become more open to change.

The Power of Mediation:

As an Enneagram type nine, you make a great mediator. You make a great mediator because you can understand different points of view, and you can see what they have in common to help them develop a win-win solution.

As a nine, you can do mediation both informally and formally. You will mediate in your family, in your workplace, and you might become trained as a professional mediator.

As a healthy nine, you are not afraid of conflict and see conflict as a powerful force for transformation. 

Four Ways to Get Healthier:

1.      Get in touch with your passion and claim your heart’s desire.

2.      When you go out for a meal, let others know where you would like to go for supper.

3.      Celebrate your accomplishments with family, friends, and colleagues.

4.      Learn to express your anger in constructive ways that build up relationships rather than destroy them.


Want to learn more about how Enneagram types impact what you observe in yourself (and others)? Click Here

Mediator talking to a couple during a session.jpg

You are Amazing:

As a type nine, you are amazing. Understanding different points of view and mediation skills can help you to build peace in our world.

Imagine the positive change you can make in the world with your skills to help people bridge differences. 

You can help build peace and justice in the world by working in external affairs departments of governments, the United Nations, and non-governmental organizations.

Your ability to observe what is going on within you and around you can help you see the truth.  You can be the one to acknowledge the elephant in the room that no one else wants to admit.

You are easygoing.  You do not run away from conflict.  You are dedicated to helping to make the world a better place.

I am Roland Legge, an Identity Coach here to help you to be the best type nine you can be and learn how to best support a type nine in your life.  You can join my private newsletter list for Free Monthly Advice and access your Free Online Enneagram Test

Originally posted on http://www.relconsultants.com — used with permission

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