The beginning of your relationship is so exciting! Sometimes you are so smitten you lose yourself in the relationship. It is at this time you more likely going to get caught in a relationship with a narcissist.
One in twenty-five people in the USA have disorders associated with no conscience. Narcissistic Abuse is believed to affect over 158 million people in the USA.
Dating a narcissist can tear your life apart unless you find the courage to leave. The trouble is that the longer you are in the relationship, your boyfriend will suck the self-confidence out of this.
If you find yourself in one, it is not because you are bad. Narcissist are often very good at manipulation. They will start to take control of you even when you are not aware of it.
Once you realize you are in a destructive relationship, don’t be afraid to get help. There is no shame in seeking help.
Before you date, learn some of the signs of narcissism. Here are three signs that you are in love with a narcissist.
1. He insists that you do what he wants:
You might enjoy a night at the theatre. He will always have an excuse when you ask him to attend. He will likely get mad if you go with someone else. All your friends are a threat to him.
You have expressed a desire to go on a trip. Unfortunately, your boyfriend always comes up with excuses. When we want to go on a trip, he expects you to go and will get mad if you disagree.
If you are living together, he may at the beginning of the relationship act helpful. But it won’t take long for him to show his true self. It will soon be all about him.
He might go out on a night with his friends but will expect you to stay home because he does not want to lose control of you. He might keep checking up on you to see if you stayed home.
2. His gifts to you are more about him than you:
If you notice that he never pays attention to what you would like for your birthday, anniversary or Christmas–pay attention!
At first, you might like his gifts. It might be a beautiful new outfit that you love. But soon you notice that he seems more concerned about showing you off to his friends.
He will be demanding in what he expects from you. If you don’t give him what he wants you will pay big time for it with anger and rage.
3. Small disagreements turn into significant battles:
Any couple is going to have conflict. Conflict happens when there are two people in a room with a different point of view. Conflict only becomes a problem when people to emotionally and physically attack each other.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, insignificant conflict will turn into a major battle. It could be something as small as a disagreement over what restaurant you are going to. Suddenly he will erupt and start blaming you for all sorts of things that have no relation to your decision about where you are going to eat.
He will pick fights with you. He will find your vulnerable places and use them to humiliate you. He will do everything he can to destroy your self-worth.
4. He blames you for all the problems in your relationship:
No relationship is perfect. But with a narcissist, you are never going to be in a mutual and respectful relationship. You are never going to change his mind. He is never going to love you.
You can try everything you can imagine to work through your conflict. Your boyfriend may try to appease you, but before long, he will try to take control of you through continuous emotional attacks.
Not only will he complain to you, but he will try to put you down in front of your and his friends. Your boyfriend’s ongoing abuse is devastating.
No one is perfect. If your partner is not willing to take any responsibility for his behavior, he has no right to blame everything on you.
You may be surprised by how many women get caught in these abusive relationships. It is not just mentally unstable woman who end up in these hurtful relationships. It can happen to anyone.
Listen to your friends if they are concerned about you. Over a period, a narcissist will keep attacking you until you lose your self-confidence. You will start to believe whatever he says.
The earlier you can get out of a relationship, the better. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to leave.
If you think you can change him, you are deluding yourself. If your partner is to change, he will first need to accept that he has a problem and then be willing to get the help he needs.
In any relationship, you find yourself in listening to your intuition, your heart and pay attention to your insights that arise from a quiet mind.
You have one chance to live your life. Don’t allow anyone else to destroy it.
I am, Roland Legge, an Identity Coach here to help you to find life-giving relationships You can join my private newsletter list for Free Monthly Advice and get Your Free Enneagram Test and sign up for a Free 30 Minute Discovery Call with Roland Legge