The Positive Intent of Your Inner Critic (How you can make it your friend)

When you were young your ego kept you safe. It helped you to become your own person differentiating yourself from others.  It prevented you from making choices that could hurt you.

Your ego helped you to deal with the messiness of life. It was like a parent for you especially if your parents were not present or helpful.

The positive intent of your inner critic is to keep you safe. It is that part of your ego which exists to keep you under its influence.  As I said above, the ego played an important role in helping you to survive your childhood. You would not have survived without it.

When you grow into adulthood the ego and the inner critic can get in your way if you are not aware of how it is impacting your life.

Read More About the Inner Critic: Click Here

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Your ego self is just one, small, part of amazing you.  There is so much more to life than your ego desires you to experience.  The ego just wants to keep you stuck in a rut and safe. It wants to protect the inner child within you.

The secret, the inner critic doesn’t want you to know, is that it can’t control you if you do something new and different.

As an adult, you can access your inner wisdom helping you to discern what you need to be about in life no longer limited by your inner critic.

Your inner wisdom will quiet the fears of your inner child reassuring this part of you that you have nothing to fear as an adult. The good news is that you have all the wisdom you need to live well within you and around you.

When your inner wisdom is speaking to you, it is a quiet, patient and inviting voice. The voice of the inner critic is always loud, impatient and demeaning.

You can friend your inner critic by helping to re-assure your vulnerable and fearful inner-child, that as an adult you can take care of yourself.


Here are eight ways to re-assure your inner-child:

1.      Love Yourself:

You are human. To be human is to be imperfect.  Loving yourself is all about accepting yourself as you are every day.

2.      Body Wisdom:

Your body is a source of great wisdom. Slow down and pay attention to all the sensations of your body.  Your body will let you know if you are doing something that is good for you.

3.      Listen to your Intuition:

Part of your body wisdom is your intuition.  When your body is warning you or encouraging you, you will often have a deep knowing in how you should best respond. The important thing is that you pay attention.

4.      Quiet Mind:

To listen to your body and heart you need a quiet mind. There are many ways to do this such as meditation, prayer, walking, gardening, painting, ceramics and much more.  Find what works best for you.

5.      Self-Care:

You are at your best when you are getting lots of sleep, rest, exercise, meaningful work and play.   Don’t be afraid to invest in yourself as much as you support other people.

There is nothing selfish about taking care of yourself because you are going to make a bigger difference in the world if you are healthy.

6.      Play:

Have you forgotten how to play? Play can bring out our curiosity, openness, and spontaneity.  The inner critic does not like play because play can unleash the wisdom of the true self.

7.      Friends:

The ego likes to control you through fear.  When you hang out with healthy self-aware friends you will be encouraged to break out of old habits that no longer serve you. A true friend is one who is in your life to bring out the bests in you.

8.      Patience:

Practice patience and you will quiet your inner critic. Your inner critic wants to rush you into action. It wants you to react to your emotions rather than take time to discern.

Read More About the Inner Critic: Click Here


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The positive intention of the inner critic is to keep you safe, happy and alive! Have you thought of giving it a name as suggested in the video by Danielle Krysa (see above)? You inner critic wouldn’t sound intimidating if you called it Jill or some other pleasant or funny name.

With patience you give yourself a moment to catch yourself in the act of reverting to your ego. With practice you will be able to end old behaviors that no longer serve you.

Your inner critic will never disappear, but with practice it will have less and less control over you.

Yelling at your inner critic will not help you. The more you rage at it the more it will get angry with you.

The gentler you can be with yourself the gentler the inner critic will be with you.  Whenever you notice your inner critic coming to life tell that part of yourself, thanks, for its concern for your well-being. Then reassure this fearful part of yourself that you can take good care of yourself.  Invite it to let go.


I am, Roland Legge a Life Coach here to help you friend your inner critic. You can join my private newsletter list for Free Monthly Advice and get Your Free Enneagram Test and sign up for a Free 30 Minute Discovery Call with me in my Acuity Scheduling Calendar.

This article is reproduced with the permission of the author. Click here to see the original article

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